I know what I want from my life, from a relationship, from a partner. What is it you want?
I want a companion who is an integral part of my life. Will you be friends with my friends? Will you come to baby birthday parties and holiday potlucks with me? Will we travel the world in search of adventure? Will you come to thanksgiving? Will I ever know your family? Will you be a part of mine?
I want a relationship that sustains me and that grows into something meaningful. Would we move in together? Will you comfort me through the hard times? Will you hold my hand on long flights and take the stairs instead of the elevator when I am afraid?
I am flawed, wounded, self-conscious, jealous, angry. I am not beautiful, sexy, compassionate or kind. Will you take me as I am? Will you love me on my worst days as well as my best? Will you forgive my sins and forget the harsh words I utter when my temper flares? Will you want me even when you compare me to the other gorgeous women who will surely be attracted to you? Are you ready to be exclusive and commit fully?
I want to know that I am safe from the pain and torment of our failed past. Can you promise me you will always be honest? Can you say for certain you won’t search the internet for other women? Will you still sign up for dating sites? Will you continue to speak to all your ex-girlfriends? How can I know what we have is real when it was so easy for you to spend a year with someone else? How do I know that you didn’t say all the same words of love to her? Are you still be searching for something better?
I want a partner for life. Can you see yourself being in this relationship for the long-term? Will you marry me one day? Will you take care of yourself and live a long, healthy life? How will your religion affect our relationship? Will you stay with me through the darkest nights? Will you be by my bedside when I’m 90 and in the hospital? Will you sing to me and tell me stories when I am weak, sick, confused? Will you celebrate a lifetime of love with me?
I want a real, grown-up relationship with all the transparency, honesty and commitment that that involves. I want a forever. I want someone who, each and every day, will choose that they want to spend their life with me.
Tell me what you want.
Love it will not betray you
or enslave you.
It will set you free.