What started out as an adventure into the world of dating, got quickly derailed by the most mysterious, uncontrollable adventure of all – love. With one failed attempt to put my past behind me, I realized that the only thing I truly wanted was the one person I wasn’t supposed to have. After weeks of his emails, phone calls, Skype messages, Facebook messages, LinkedIn messages and then finally a surprise visit, I listened to what he had to say. Then going against the good advice of my friends, family and my logical brain, I decided to get back into that relationship. Fast forward 5 months. 5 months of extreme happiness and extreme sadness. 5 months of confusion, tears, heartbreak, laughter, learning and in the end the knowledge that although we love each other, we can no longer be together. It is still not a reality that I am fully prepared to deal with, but I am taking steps to get there. I am mapping out a new future in the hopes of letting go of my present.
Thus I have decided to shift the focus of my blog with the intention of directing my energies inwards instead of outwards. From here on out, Elle’s Fifty First Dates will be known as Elle’s Fifty Firsts and it will chronicle the many firsts I plan on having over the next year. Instead of documenting 50 The Guy That, I will try and talk about 50 The Time That. I hope to
force convince myself to experience (at least!) one new thing per week for the next year. I hope to document the trials and tribulations of a 20-something women who is searching for more. The elusive and ephemeral more. This white, upper-middle class, first-world story of ennui may be as old as time, but for me it will all be firsts.
What will a year in the life of this blog bring? Perhaps #4 The Time That I Moved to a Foreign Land? Or #11 The Time That I Went on a First Date and Liked It? Or maybe #18 The Time That I went to Paris – for the Weekend! Who knows. Let’s hope it helps me learn a little bit more about the world and a whole lot more about myself.
So what started out as “The adventure that happens when you say yes to everyone once…” has become simply “The adventure that happens when you say yes…”.
Wish me luck!
Never give up what you want most for what you want in the moment.