Time and again I have begun a knitting project only to become discouraged and give up. I have started at least a dozen hats, scarves, blankets, etc. over the years and have nothing to show for it. And honestly, I only have myself to blame. As with many areas of my life, I tend to get so very excited about a project in the beginning until inevitably my enthusiasm wanes and I lose interest. Whether it is attending an exercise class, learning a new language, starting a blog, or knitting a blanket, I have always seem to lack follow through. Upon reflection, I think my issue stems from my overly high expectations. Even though I routinely say that I don’t believe in perfection, I do get so very annoyed when things don’t turn out how I expect them to (which let’s face it, is pretty close to perfect). The real failure is that instead of seeing something through to the end, learning the lesson and improving next time, I almost invariably cast the whole thing aside. Well not this time. I am happy to say that this time I have actually completed a project.
I have made a scarf. A red scarf. A full length, knitted scarf. And I won’t lie – it isn’t beautiful, it isn’t complicated and frankly, it might not even be wearable. But it is all mine. And it is a finished project.
So today I say yes to following through. To giving myself the freedom to make mistakes without giving up. To accomplishing the tasks I set before myself.
I choose to see this accomplishment as a symbol for my future. I know that over the next few months I will begin many new projects and they won’t all go exactly as I hope they will. Perhaps I won’t arrive in a new city and find a fabulous job with a ton of time for travel, a fun circle of friends who welcome me as their own, a smart, sexy man who will show me the country and make me forget my broken heart. Then again, maybe I will. And either way I know that these new experiences will be worth seeing through because, if nothing else, they will make me pretty damn proud.
You don’t have to be great to start but you have to start to be great.