In moments of confusion and apprehension we seek clarity. At times even those we love cannot help. In my longing and loss, I searched my heart but found only conflict. I sought wisdom, understanding and clarity in the cards.
What I found was a sense of peace, of calm, of connection.What I found was heart-breaking. What I found I know to be true in my heart. What I found is only one of the many, many futures that exist.
What: Pims Original Cocktail
Where: Hyde Park, London, England
Who: Me. Solo.
Far From The Maddening Crowd. Thomas Hardy. 1874.
I don’t want to make a terrible pun but it really was maddening to attempt to read this book. As it was written in archaic english with run on sentences and period references, I often lost the flow of the story and failed to connect with the characters. The main protagonist, Bethesda, was an independent, strong-willed woman with whom I should have empathized but I found myself disliking her and caring little about her love interests.
My skin has always been an issue. I’ve experienced varying degrees of acne since adolescence and it has always had a big impact on my self esteem. The times when my skin is clear, I feel healthier, happier and more confident. When my skin is flaring up, I simply want to hide inside alone. I’ve tried many, many different treatments including expensive brand-name creams & washes, dangerous pharmaceuticals, and any ‘oil-free, dermatologically-tested, non-pore-clogging’ fad product I could get my hands on. Nothing has ever completely taken care of the issue but certain times in my life have been better or worse.
I am not a team player. I do not respond well to instructions. I am not athletic, graceful or keen eyed. But none of that stopped me from taking tennis lessons.